In the latest of what seem to becoming daily humiliations for Theresa May and the Tories, the Government has been forced to delay the Queen’s speech – but they’ve found an easy scapegoat.

The official reason for the delay being trotted out by the Tories is that the new trimmed down Queen’s speech, which is printed on goatskin parchment paper, needs time to dry.

In an attempt to play down his party’s crisis, Tory MP and former party chairman Grant Shapps told World at One:

“The fact you have to delay a Queen’s speech by a few days, even if it is just for the vellum to be printed on…I don’t think it is the show stopper it may seem this lunch time.”

Every underpaid teacher will tell you printing problems is the number one excuse they hear from kids who haven’t done their homework – right behind my pet goat ate it. But let’s not give the Tories ideas.

It’s obvious “Theresa May’s team” are buying time because they haven’t finalised their ‘Bad Friday Agreement’ with the climate change denying, gay hating, terrorist sympathising DUP.

The Queen’s Speech was supposed to take place on Monday 19 – the same day as Brexit negotiations were due to start.

But after spending the election campaign warning Brexit negotiations would “start just 11 days after the election”, it now seems they have been hastily re-arranged as well.

Both the Prime Minister’s spokesperson and Brexit Secretary David Davis would not confirm the date on which talks with Brussels would begin.

The Tories will blame the nanny state, but this is government on the hoof…

  1. Glyn Devonport says:

    Using the excuse that “The Goatskin needs to dry” is a blatant lie. All laws in Britain are still written on vellum, either calfskin or goatskin, so therefore there will already be a supply of vellum held by parliament..

    If the queens speech has to be written on goatskin then surely a supply is kept in reserve as we have a queens speech every year. And even if they needed to aquire a fresh supply then they would have ordered it immediately the GE was called as they would know that a queens speech would be made shortly after the GE took place.

  2. What’s wrong with printing it on paper while they are waiting for the ink to dry on the vellum. Hansard will have a full record so there can be no alterations.

  3. Leon Trotsky says:

    Surely they’ve had more than 2 weeks since the vanity election was called? Typical failed tory lack of planing.

  4. I don’t think vellum comes from goats. It comes from calves (think ‘veal’). Parchment comes from sheep and goats.

  5. Andrew Jenkinson says:

    Since 2013 they use “goatskin parchment paper”. It does NOT come from GOAT. The name refers to the WATERMARK.

  6. There is only one way for Teresa to ‘get us out of this mess’. Get ready for a second referendum on Brexit before the end of this year. The government will then go into the next election saying ‘it was a mistake to start it, but at least we had the good sense to stop it’.

  7. Jill Johnson says:

    What a mess !!
    The clock is ticking. Why provoke article 50 if not ready for talks. Reshuffle of new Mps celebrating. They have a massive job to do. They had all better settle down and get on with it 21 months left !

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