Matthew Doyle

This morning Twitter user Matthew Doyle tweeted something that he will very likely regret.

Before you think this is a parody tweet, his subsequent replies to others confirm that he isn’t joking.

He did genuinely walk up to a random Muslim woman in Croydon and ask her to account for the terror attacks in Brussels yesterday.

Many seriously questioned him over it, but others just mocked him over it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Twitter humour strikes again

  1. I confronted an overweight woman last night in croydon, asked her about obesity, she Saud “nothing to do with me” a merely mouthed reply

  2. I confronted a woman last night in Croydon. I asked her to explain a commentary that follows a reading of scripture. She said “nothing to do with me”. Homily-mouthed reply.

  3. Matthew P Doyle is Racist says:

    I confronted a Catholic man yesterday, asked him to explain the rape of young boys by catholic priests.. He said ‘Nothing to do with me”.. A Mealy mouthed reply too i guess

  4. Paul Mainwaring says:

    I approached a number of people in Croydon today, asked them to explain the furore over Matthew P Doyle’s tweet. All replied, “Nothing to do with me”….Many Mealy mouthed replies.

  5. I confronted a Muslim woman this morning. I asked her “Does it only take one love and one heart to feel alright?” She said “Yes.” A Marley math reply.

    Then I confronted ANOTHER Muslim woman today and I asked her “Is it true there are half human half rodent hybrids digging holes under the ground?” She said “absolutely!” A moley myth reply.

  6. I asked a young South African man to explain our defeat at Isandhlawana ane he replied`Nothing to do with Me` A mealie mouthed reply

  7. I approached a passing butterfly this morning and asked it if it was depressed. “Totally!” replied the creature. A maudlin moth reply.

  8. I confronted ANOTHER Muslim woman today and I asked her “Is it true there are half human half rodent hybrids digging holes under the ground?” She said “absolutely!” A moley myth reply.

  9. I confronted a Muslim woman this morning. I asked “Does it only take one love and one heart to feel alright?” She said “Yes.” A Marley math reply.

  10. I confronted Donald Duck yesterday and demanded to know where his friend was. “No idea, he shouted. A Mickey Mouse reply.

  11. Big Phil From The Rigs says:

    I confronted MC hammer yesterday and asked him what time it was….. he replied HAMMER TIME …… a mealy mouthed reply

  12. I confronted a bigot in Croydon last night and asked him about how to encourage solidarity and unity in society. He said, ‘nothing to do with me.’ A mealy-mouthed reply.

  13. I confronted a homeless man in croyden and asked him to explain about homelessness. He said nothing to do with me….a mealy mouthed reply.

  14. I confronted a man who lived in a shed and asked him what he had mostly been eating this week … he replied NUTS … a woody mouthed reply …

  15. I confronted a muslim colleague at work and asked him about brussels. He said he condemns the attack… A well mouthed reply…

  16. .confronted @ladygaga about @MatthewDoyle31 from Croydon being an asshole. She said he had nothing to do it! Born that way!

  17. I confronted a vampire in Croydon the other day and asked him what he was doing… “nights” he answered.. a toothy reply

  18. My wife confronted me this morning while I was eating my muesli. “Humph prufrumps” was the mealy mouthed reply. She was pointing out I forgot to add the milk.

  19. Not arf mate !!! says:

    I confronted a woman in Croyden who was being haunted and asked “who you gonna call ? ” … Ghostbusters she shouted… a mealy mouthed reply ..

  20. Frank Castle says:

    I confronted my ding-a-ling this morning and asked “When are you gonna get the fuck up?!” It answered “When you get a willing woman.” What a wanker’s reply!

  21. I confronted Doyle and asked him why he feels so brave about harrassing muslim women..”cos im scared of muslim men”… a mealy mouthed reply

  22. I confronted a conspiracy nut in Croydon yesterday and asked him
    Define life
    He replied it’s a conspiracy of illuminati

  23. I also confronted pexie lot in Croydon yesterday (though she is Geordie) and asked her why Justin Bieber produce so crap music, she said “nothing to do with me” a mealy mouthed reply.

  24. I confronted a cat chewing on something small, grey and squeaky. “Did you just kill that rodent?” I asked “Yes!” she replied. A mewling, mawling, mealy mouse reply.

  25. I confronted a Jedi who had turned to the dark side yesterday. I said “Do you know that Sith is an anagram of Sh*t?” So he stabbed me in the heart with his light sabre. A Mauly Darth reply.

  26. I confronted a woman in Croydon yesterday about the bat’s coming out of he’ll. She said it’s nothing to do with me. A meaty mouthed reply.

  27. I confronted a fast food stall holder yesterday about the bats in the “chicken of the cave sandwich”. He said Whammy. A mealy mouthed anchorman reply

  28. I confronted a woman in Croydon yesterday and asked her about chips, a burger, a drink and a toy. She said It’s nothing to do with me. A Happy Mealy mouthed reply.

  29. I confronted Billy Ray Cyrus in Croydon yesterday. I asked him to explain his daughter’s lack of talent but he just laughed. A Miley mirth reply.

  30. Seamus Murphy says:

    I confronted a vegetarian in Croydon yesterday to ask what was in his roll. He replied “nothing to do with meat” A mealy mouthed reply :-))

  31. I confronted Ronnie Biggs in Croydon and asked him about the Great train robbery. He said ” nothing to do with me”.. A stealy mouthed reply.

    Then I asked my dad for some pocket money, ” nothing to do with me ” he said .. A meanie mouthed reply!

  32. I confronted a white christian today and asked him about KKK. He said nothing to do with me. Mealy mouth reply

  33. I confronted a farmer yesterday in Croydon. I asked him to explain Brussels. He said “well they’re like small cabbages’. A meeny miny vegetable reply.

  34. At breakfast, my husband confronted me over the 12th century persecution of the Jews in Norwich. I said “Nothing to do with me”as I chomped my porridge. A mealy mouthed reply.

  35. I asked this little boy from Mozambique the way to Maputo! He screamed back at me in a language I did not understand. Swahili Mouthed little git! 😉

  36. I confronted Michael Jackson yesterday. I asked him: “Is Annie ok? Annie, is she ok? Will you tell me if she’s ok? Annie? Is she ok??” He said: “Stop pressuring me! You make me wanna scream!”. A fair reply.

  37. I confronted two fake artists in Croydon yesterday. I asked if they were lip syncing? They replied by doing the running man. A Milli Vanilli reply I would say.

  38. I confronted Tina Turner yesterday. I asked “What’s love got to do with it?” She said: “Nothing to do with me”. A very second hand emotion answer.

  39. Andy McFireshovel says:

    If someone said to my wife, whose mother is German, “Hitler! Explain that!” I’d kick him where it would hurt.

  40. Worldhasgonecrazy says:

    I confronted Donald Trump in Croydon today and asked him what he’d do for education, poverty and unemployment. He said “Nothing to do with me. You’re fired!” A mealy mouth reply.

  41. I confronted a child with measles and asked him about vaccination. “Everything to do with me” was his measly mouthed reply.

  42. Big Keith from the Rigs !!! says:

    Brick confronted a fast food vendor outside Champs chicken in San Diageo and asked him what about the chicken of the cave .. he replied WHAMMY !!! a mealy anchorman reply …….

  43. I asked a man from Croydon why he was randomly eating squirrels whole. He said, ‘Noffim fer foo wif mmm.’ A fury-mouthed reply.

  44. I confronted the whole human race in croydon yesterday and asked them “why we all treat each other like animals and why we can’t all just live together with peace and freedom?” They replied; “we regretfully wish we did…” A sorrow mouth reply!!

  45. I confronted a racist yesterday in South Georgia and asked him to explain police brutality. He said “eeny meeny miny mo ….” ..

  46. I confronted a water rat by the river bank and asked him to explain the behaviour of Mr Toad. He said “ask Badger”. A moley mouthed reply.   er this is getting surreal…. 😉

  47. I asked Trump why are his followers were so violent, he responded nothing to do with me. A mealy mouthed reply.

  48. I confronted a man who confronted a random Muslim women in Croydon yesterday and asked him if he regretted his Tweet and when he was going to get over himself. His comments are unprintable. A potty mouthed reply.

  49. Not arf mate .... says:

    I confronted a woman with a piece of lettuce sticking out of the top of her trousers and asked what is that .. “that’s just the tip of the iceberg she replied … a mealy mouthed reply …

  50. I confronted a mealy mouth yesterday. I asked him to explain Jimmy Carter. He couldn’t. He accepted that he was trumped on that one.

  51. I confronted a man in Adelaide yesterday. I asked him to explain the Southern Ocean. He said ‘nothing to do with me’. A Murray Mouth reply.

  52. I confronted an afghan hound playing catch with his owner in the park today, I asked him to explain the taliban, ‘nothing to do with me ‘he said. A mealy mouthed reply.

  53. I confronted Muhammad in Mecca. I asked him to explain Islam. He said “Nothing to do with me”. A mealy mouthed reply.

  54. I don’t get the Vienna one lol…probably really obvious but it’s bugging me can someone explain please??

  55. what i would say says:

    I confronted a Muslim women yesterday in Croydon. I asked her to explain Brussels. She said “who the hell are you and why are you talking to me?”. what every Muslim womAn should reply.

  56. The dirty incident of Brussels and other such acts of terrorist are related to Psychos who exist in every society but they number more in developing countries or the minorities because the border lines go for such evil acts as they are an easy prey of the circumstances they live in

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