As the Labour Party Conference comes to a close, opinion seems to have responded very favourably to Liverpool’s hosting facilities. According to one local taxi driver, however, a VIP guest was less than impressed with the amenities on offer.

In advance of the conference, local police had closed down at least four local brothels and instituted enforcement of a rule preventing cabbies from “waiting” for customers while engaging in their negotiated slap and tickle.

The gentleman in question was frustrated to find that, to complete his mission, he would have to visit either Southport or Birkenhead (Frank Field will no doubt be flattered to know that his Wirral constituency was the preferred option) and that he would have to have the young lady call him a minicab in order to return.

Although the cabbie recognised his disgruntled passenger, he would never break the sacred bond of the black cab confessional.

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