Columnist Sarah Vine offers her “Five steps to being the perfect housewife” in today’s Times. Scrapbook would have filed this under “middle market tabloid anti-feminist filler” were it not for the fact that Vine’s husband is the Secretary of State for Education.

Offering advice on how to “turn a man from your boyfriend into a proper husband”, Gove’s wife counsels: “Don’t overdo the housework. It’s vitally important to make sure there is always a small amount of mess somewhere in the house.” Doubtless Vine is not “overdoing” the domestic chores unless they are the only household in their North Kensington neighbourhood to dismiss professional assistance in the upkeep of their £700,000 home.

The column brings laughter, however, in these deliciously indiscreet details of the Gove/Vine marriage:

“As to sex, you’ll soon be down to doing it once a month while the children are at granny’s, so really he should get accustomed to the idea now.”

Not content with keeping her spouse on coital rations, Vine also hides his underwear:

“Occasionally it helps to hide vital household items, such as clean underpants — just as a reminder of his day-to-day good fortune at having you for a wife.”

We’re sure Gove was reflecting on his good fortune as he caught civil servants sniggering over copies of  Times 2 this morning.

  1. Jenny Abbott says:

    Who cares about being a good wife? Why do these slimy overpriviledged ‘women’ feel the need to give advice on ‘being a good wife?’ Her husband will undoubtedly be shagging his secretary at some point anyway – for all the good bing a ‘good wife’ will do her then. Pass the sick bucket!
    Ah but then, marital disharmony and divorce are a lot easier if you live in a £700,000 house, with 350,000 it’s pretty certain you won’t have to rely on HOUSING BENEFITS!, or struggle to find somewhere to live. Women like that do all other real women a total dis-favour!

  2. Actually the column was very witty, it’s just a shame that your schoolboy snigger comments weren’t as clever, but I guess that why she’s a Times journalist and you aren’t eh?

  3. She’s a Times “journalist” because Rupert likes to keep these odious deadbeats on the payroll so they will do his bidding, like Mensch and a bunch of other creepy nonentities in Parliament.

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