It’s not often that the Scrapbook team proclaim ‘Oooh aaah Daily Star’ as they discover their story of the day, but the esteemed red top yesterday found space amongst their oiled bosoms and “goss” to record the birth of a new political party.

When asked if his English Defence League were planning to field candidates in local and national elections, Tommy Robinson confirmed that they “aren’t ruling it out. I think this country needs a party that’s not afraid to say things some would consider unpopular.” Perhaps forgetting that the Liberal Democrats have already beaten him to this, Robinson believes that he has what it takes to lead his gang of reprobates to power.

Whilst this prospect may appear unlikely, it seems the former BNP acolyte is already making plans for his easy stroll to Number 10. “Tommy Robinson” is the pseudonym of Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, a convicted violent criminal who renamed himself after a notorious Luton football hooligan. This alter-egoism places him amongst a select group of international statesmen including Pol Pot (real name Saloth Sar), Kim Il-Sung (Kim Song Ju), Joseph Stalin (Ioseb Bessarionis dze Djugashvili) and George Osborne (Gideon Oliver Osborne).

Prime Minister Yaxley-Lennon would have no shortage of candidates to fill his first Cabinet. Red hot favourite for Foreign Secretary would be Alan Lake, who spends his weekends travelling around Europe preaching to far-right organisations. However, if this meandering speech to the nationalist Swedish Democrats is anything to go by, the great parliamentary speakers of our time shouldn’t have too much to worry about. Once he he’s finished fumbling around with his microphone, he stokes the frenzied atmosphere by promising that:

“Some of the things I will say are obvious”, and “I’m going to go very quickly, don’t worry if you don’t remember all of it”.

Should they reach Whitehall the EDL’s tactics may also cause them to incur the wrath of Sir Humphrey. The group have an unerring ability to fill those hard-to-come-by prison cells: 48, 50 and 90 of their members were arrested during recent day-trips to Manchester, London and Nottingham respectively.

The Daily Star conclude their report by announcing that a staggering 98% of their readers agree with the EDL’s policies.

Not even the Lib Dems can match that.

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  3. An article attacking the EDL is a good thing – so good stuff

    Your particiular line of attack though is slightly problematic – implying that simply because EDL people have been arrested, they must be dangerous. This tactic has been used by tabloids against the most important movements of the left for decades

    The EDL should be attacked for their racism and their stupidity as you do

    Let us not forget though that 14, 000 anti Vietnam war demonstrators were once arrested at once, 10, 000 protesters were arrested during the miner’s strike, and every respected liberation leader from Gandhi onwards spent time in prison. Being arrested and/or imprisoned does not by itself make you wrong

  4. I agree completely with Jasper’s comment. The criminalisation of activism is shameful in a democratic political system.
    I do not agree with the ideology of the EDL or other right-wing institutions, however they should be entitled to their opinion and the right to peaceful protest.

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  7. I agree with Jasper and Matt, two previous contributors.
    To criminalise protestors is to glorify their cause unfortunately and whilst in many instances this may not be a bad thing. Witness the difference bewteen the two recent student demos, one got loads of publicity and brought the issue to the fore, the other hardly got a mention.

    Thus to raise the profile of the EDL by criminalising them gives them more air time and publicity than they deserve. Link it to a speech by a rather juvenile, but equally dangerous prime minister and we have a recipe to create further polarization of views in society than existed before either episodes occurred.

    Now a real issue becaue of this polarisation has washed off onto another issue concerned with freedom and respect, that of allowing prisoners to vote. There is a grwoing reluctance on people to think ptoperly and disspationatley but to make decisions based on their emotions and at present the losers may be disenfranched prisoners.
    It may be fun at the moment watching the EDL and Camerons clowning on the European stage, but just as we have laughed at despots before lack of appropiate action now may lead worse to come.

    Maybe soon we will once again only vote if we are not on benefits and have a job, property and subscribe to the Big Society (whatever that is once it’s let out of the bag)

  8. You know, some years ago I walked into a large hall and listened to speakers as we set up the Anti-Nazi League. Since then, we have seen anti-fascist and anti-racist organisations come and go – but the prejudice within our society remains.

    It all seems far rmoved from the hope for a new era I first envsaged when I came into politics in the late 1960s. In those days we were campaigning for an equal society, where we could all live free of oppression and poverty, regardless of race or gender. Clearly, we failed, but where did we go wrong? Were we naive and innocent? Or did we just get sucked into the system?

    Our young – the next generation may have something to learn from us as they oppose forces like the EDL – but their biggest learning would be – don’t follow our example!

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