Jul/10
17:15 7
Government to repeal football laws
DPM Clegg mimicking the soon-to-be extinct celebration of former footballer Alan Shearer
David Cameron’s waxwork figure Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg this week revealed the Your Freedom website, which allows voters to suggest which laws they would like to be repealed in an effort by the coalition to extend civil liberties. The first laws to be abolished are those of football. Mr Clegg said:
“As creators of the laws of football, we retain the right to repeal them. Following the dismal performances of the England team in South Africa, the Government intends to action this right, removing all football laws, and thus the game itself, from existence and restoring the freedom of many Britons not to be regularly humiliated on the world stage.”
Reaction in the footballing community has been mixed. England midfielder and phantom goalscorer Frank Lampard told reporters:
“It’s a shocking decision, which ultimately has cost us the game.”
Manchester United and England forward Wayne Rooney was more philisophical, however:
“At the end of the day, we’ve given 110%, but we haven’t performed well enough. When it comes down to it, it’ll be disappointing not to earn obscene amounts of money while loads of other people lose their jobs and stuff, but like, I’ve probably got enough now anyway. At the end of the day, like I said, it’s the Deputy Prime Minister’s decision and you’ve gotta go along with it.”
The decision has been met with universal acclaim in Scotland and Wales.
Jun/10
17:26 14
Those Liberal Democrat and Tory VAT policies in full*
Charlie K’s expression is prescient.
UPDATE: Double irony alert! Scrapbook wonders whether David and George recall this advert from 2008?
*Exclusive to all blogs.
Jun/10
13:28 15
Human shields: Cameron cowers behind Osborne in budget as Liberal Democrats flank the chancellor
Never has the adage that David Cameron uses his Liberal Democrat colleagues as human shields been so true. Expanding the repertoire of parliamentary choreography, Osborne has not only been “doughnuted” by Nick Clegg and Danny Alexander but completely obscures the prime minister from the main TV camera in the Commons chamber.
Peek-a-boo! Cameron is seated directly behind Gideon and – crucially – out of the way of the troublesome dispatch box camera used for 95% of news packages:
So, where are prime ministers supposed to sit during difficult budgets? Here’s a clue:
Front benchers are acutely aware of the (usually positive) impact of proximity to the speaking member.
The seating arrangement obscuring Cameron is no accident.
Jun/10
09:08 2
Dr. Osborne will see you now
Notwithstanding the photoepilepsy-inducing graphics, this video setting ideological cuts against comments from economists David Blanchflower and Joseph Stiglitz, is well worth a watch on the day that Dr. Osborne will amputate billions from public spending:
Writing on Comment Is Free this weekend, Blanchflower repeated that these cuts are “dogma over common sense”. Slamming the axing of the Future Jobs Fund and guarantees of work or training for the long-term unemployed, he said:
It is quite clear the vulnerable are going to pay for this government’s incompetence. Nick Clegg and his lot have sold their souls for power, and this is not what they stood for at the election.
This budget won’t be one for the squeamish (or Simon Hughes).
Jun/10
13:14 11
Gaffe-O-Rama! Sarah Palin to derail Tory conference?
You think Daniel “scrap the NHS” Hannan is unhinged? It has emerged that David Cameron may be more or less obligated to entertain a divisive foreign figure aligned with the nutjob right of his own party. That’s right, Sarah Palin is lining up a trip to the UK! Her Facebook note entitiled “Concerning a possible trip to the United Kingdom” reads:
Following an article in a British publication on Sunday [Daily Mail article here], I’ve received questions about a possible trip to the United Kingdom. I have received an invitation for a visit to London, and part of that invitation included the offer of arranging a meeting between myself and one of my political heroines, the “Iron Lady,” Margaret Thatcher. I would love to meet her and hope I’ll be able to arrange the trip in the future.
Guido reports that Palin may attend Conservative Party conference in the autumn, with Nick Clegg’s rumoured appearance scrapped to make way for the former Alaskan governor. The possibility of Palin touring the Freedom Zone fringe with Messrs Hannan and Carswell trailing in her wake raises the prospect of a Tory Gaffe-O-Rama on par with Boris Johnson’s freelancing at conference last year.
This can’t fail to entertain.
May/10
18:19 0
Late to the party, moi?
This is a few days old but kudos to Tom Harris for this one. A regular party election broadcast?
Just wait 30 seconds.
May/10
12:40 9
Royal endorsement of Nick Clegg as DPM is constitutional first
Something constitutionally remarkable happened last night: Her Majesty the Queen seemingly appointed a Deputy Prime Minister, something that has never before happened in the UK. In July 1962 Liz was asked by PM Harold Macmillan to recognise Rab Butler as his deputy and she refused, on the basis that the sovereign would not wish to prejudice the selection of his successor.
This constitutionally-erroneous minister has been the subject of numerous debates over the previous 50 years. In the 1970s Labour governed with two deputies: Labour deputy leader (and drinker) George Brown and “First Secretary of State” Barbara Castle.
Margaret Thatcher’s close shave at the seaside in 1984 raised questions around temporary succession of power in the event of the death or incapacity of the Prime Minister and whether or not a peer (Willie Viscount Whitelaw was her deputy) could realistically serve as PM, even if only temporarily. Yet for all the panic, following the resignation of Geoffrey Howe and fall of Thatcher in 1990 John Major managed to cope until 1995 without a deputy.
Prescott was fairly unique in being the elected deputy leader of the governing party who was also appointed Deputy Prime Minister – and was endowed with a super-department to boot. But his party successor Harriet Harman wasn’t to be so fortunate, given a plethora of titles none of which was DPM. Indeed, Lord Mandelson’s subsequent appointment as First Secretary of State cast him as a combination of Barbara Castle and Willie Whitelaw. You can draw your own conclusions as to which comparison he’d prefer! In any case it has never been certain what would have happened had Brown, in the words of many hacks, “had that massive coronary he was heading for”.
So now that Cleggover is regally appointed Deputy Prime Minister, does this actually mean anything? In short, no. Jim Wallace was acting First Minister of Scotland three times but no one ever expected he would permanently hold the post. He may well spin the role of DPM as being the second most senior man in government, but unless he secures a substantial policy brief it really will be little more than a token gesture.
May/10
18:35 3
Joke of the day: Clegg-mobile edition
Scrapbook spotted this doing the rounds on Facebook earlier:
Q: What’s the difference between Nick Clegg and a bus?
A: A bus has seats!
Well, Clegg may have some seats …
… but six less than this time last week!
