Tag Archives: lembit opik

Lembit Opik to make London's freakiest Halloween show even freakier

As though the thought of climbing into bed with Lembit Opik wasn’t scary enough, this year the former MP will be compering Brick Lane’s Halloween show “Cirque des Ombres“. Fronted by the the winner for Britsin’s Got Freaks Preacher Muad’dib, among the acts that Opik will introduce are light bulb eating, face drilling and fire breathing. Preacher Muad’dib will then perform his signature act, balancing a lawnmower on his chin, while Opik throws vegetables into its blades.

Will Opik dismember his cucumber?

Given his intention to run for Mayor of London we’re sure a few people from Cowley Street will be hoping he throws himself into the blades too!

Liberal Democrat conference in shock as Lembit Opik refused entry

The Liberal Democrats’ very own court jester Lembit Opik was temporarily refused entry to their party conference this evening, according to Guardian deputy editor Ian Katz and Guido Fawkes. Delegates reported the former Montgomeryshire MP attempted the “don’t you know who I am” routine to unimpressed guards: ”If he hasn’t got the paperwork he hasn’t got the paperwork”.

The incident recalls a similar episode from last year’s Labour conference in Brighton, where Peter Mandelson was held up for ten minutes while security officials checked his credentials.

Peter Mandelson was denied entry to Labour conference in 2009

It was essential that Peter Mandelson be given a working pass in 2009 as he would give an acclaimed speech to delegates the next day.

It was essential that Lembit Opik be given a working pass in 2010 as he plans to give an acclaimed speech to an attractive female researcher later tonight.

Headline of the week

But which aspirant London mayor writes a weekly column for this august publication?

Here’s a clue:


Lembit Opik: from comedian to joke candidate in three weeks

Having last week raised the prospect of taking Boris’ buffoon act to the Nth degree Lembit Opik  has announced that he will stand for Mayor of London “if London wants it and Lib Dems want it”. The former Montgomeryshire MP and columnist for newstand pornographers the Daily Sporttold BBC Breakfast this morning:

“I’m potentially standing for mayor of London after one or two senior Lib Dem MPs in London suggested it … I don’t know for sure if it’s a viable campaign, we’re trying to get a manifesto together … What a great media opportunity for [the press] if you have three colourful characters running for mayor.” – Lembit Opik

You can always trust Google News to highlight an amusing turn in events:

Have you heard the one about Lembit running for Mayor of London?

*No, seriously, he really does (not safe for work).

The hypocrisy of Lembit Opik

Lembit Opik in Closer magazineSelf-styled lethario of the Commons Lembit Opik has hit the headlines for his “relationship” with a 21-year old lingerie model, ostensibly anchored in a mutual interest in a campaign on eating disorders. This is familiar territory for the serial sleazeball, who made big play of his relationships with weather presenter Sian Lloyd and Cheeky Girl Gabriella Irimia.

In the media offensive with model Katie Green, Opik opines:

If the fashion industry is organised to celebrate the ‘dangerously thin’ look, it’s no wonder thousands of people die from eating disorders in the UK every year.

In the last parliamentary session Opik signed a whopping 198 Early Day Motions and sponsored 13 on such pressing issues as Tracking Near Earth Objects and Segways and the Snow. Given his apparent interest in this subject, one assumes he has been pursuing the matter in parliament. Perhaps he signed last October’s Early Day Motion expressing concern at “the clear pressure on models to achieve a size zero body”? Or maybe he backed Richard Younger-Ross in welcoming the launch of the Model Health Inquiry? And how could we forget Eating Order Awareness week in February?

The fact is that Opik has signed none of these. To miss an EDM on one of ‘your issues’ is unfortunate; to miss two is careless; but to miss three probably means you didn’t give a monkeys in the first place. It seems the only time our ladies man has mentioned ever eating disorders in Parliament was in a written question which was answered (surprise surprise) one day before Katie Green’s campaign was launched in The Sun.

The charitable might ask what is wrong with an MP widening their parliamentary interests or their attention being drawn to a particular issue by a celebrity campaigner. This argument might stand up were it not for Opik’s weekly column for for newstand pornographers the Daily Sport.

Lembit Opik's column in the Daily Sport

This publication is soft-core porn dressed up as a red top tabloid, keeping its readers on a daily diet of upskirt photos of celebrities getting out of cars and stories such as “WAG in Hotel Roasting Sex Vid” and “Credit Crunch Turns Girls Lesbo”.

The Daily Sport

Hey, Lembit! You don’t suppose your employer is a paragon of publications which, erm, drive unrealistic and unhealthy conceptions of body image in young women?

What a complete and utter hypocrite.

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