After PMQs saw David Cameron level a “baldemort” jibe at Liam Byrne yesterday, Paul Goodman over at ConservativeHome has reimagined some senior Tories, minus the hair. Surprisingly given the folklore of his blonde mop, Boris doesn’t look too bad as a shiny slaphead. Osborne and Cameron, however, don’t seem to fare so well. Given the [...]
Following the shocking discussion between the captain of the Costa Concordia and a coast guard, a similar transcript has now emerged, courtesy of blogger Alex Andreou, of a conversation involving Captain Osborne, having run the economic ship aground on the rocks of zero-growth and soaring unemployment. Captain: At this moment the UK Economy is listing. Cost Guard: [...]
A garage in Sheffield, forced to shut down after 16 years of trading, has erected a large fluorescent sign blaming George Osborne for the disappearance of custom since March. The UKIP-voting owner of Billy Boy Tyres, which is now emblazoned with the words “MEGA CLOSING DOWN SALE. THANKS GEORGE OSBORNE”, has no illusions as to who is [...]
With the Treasury blowing nearly all “good news” stories over the weekend, it looks likely that the Autumn statement will be largely downhill from now on. Here’s a summary of what Gideon would prefer we forgot about: The Office for Budget Responsibility will have to follow the OECD’s lead and revise unemployment forecasts up, as [...]
10 Downing Street intervened to rewrite a Commons motion on fuel duty triggered by the government’s e-petition initiative, a senior Conservative backbencher has revealed. Interference with the motion, which was debated last Tuesday, is being held up in Tory circles as another example of David Cameron’s “arrogance” towards rank-and-file Tory MPs. The e-petition created by [...]
Ten months after George Osborne blamed a 0.5% fall in GDP on the weather, tax avoider and Topshop boss Philip Green has blamed his plummeting profits on an unusually warm November, saying that it will mean the closure of 260 shops. Whilst news of Green’s financial underperformance has been widely reported, the similarity between his [...]
Suspicions abounded this morning that George Osborne was planning to cut short a 24 hour run of silence from senior Tories on yesterday’s terrible unemployment figures. But although the hastily-organised announcement turned out to concern the sale for a loss of Northern Rock, the gathered reporters asked, not unreasonably, about record youth unemployment… See Gideon [...]
Yelps of excitement were heard coming from the Chancellor’s private office this morning with news that his new leather goods had been delivered to HMT. Conclusive evidence that Gideon enjoys the sensation of black leather (finest quality, naturally) on his posterior.
