Tag Archives: Donald Trump

Kenyan witch doctor predicts Obama will win election

A witch doctor from Obama’s ancestral home of Kogelo village in western Kenya has used his mystic powers to predict that the president will secure a second term. Scrapbook could not confirm rumours that “115 year-old” John Dimo is now working on a full breakdown of the electoral college.

Doubtless Donald Trump approves.

Barack Obama mocks Donald Trump on ‘Tonight Show’

Speaking on the Tonight Show in the wake of Donald Trump’s attempts to blackmail him with $5m charity money, Barack Obama had this to say about the attention-seeking billionaire:

“This all relates to when we were growing up together in Kenya.”

“We had constant run-ins on the soccer field … When we finally moved to America I thought it’d be over.”

With numerous gags doing the rounds, this is definitely Scrapbook’s favourite:

Donald Trump wants Obama transparency, but Clint Eastwood already got it.

Donald Trumps attempts to blackmail Obama with charity money

Having failed to prove that Obama isn’t a “natural born American” by sending investigators to Hawaii, Donald Trump is attempting to drag charities into his not-racist-at-all vendetta against the president.

If Trump reveals how he constructs his combover each morning then we’ll give 56p to a charity of his choice.

Donald Trump on Obama: I have a “very, very big” announcement

Tomorrow at “noonish” business mogul, Donald Trump, will enlighten the world with  “something very, very big concerning the president of the United States“. Trump, who took to Fox News to announce the announcement, is being incredibly secretive about his paradigm-altering surprise.

Scrapbook has been wondering what Trump’s “very, very big” announcement could be:

It is clear, however, that life will never be the same again.

Fox News sees sense: Sarah Palin captioned as “universal nightmare”

It seems Fox News have come round to the same viewpoint as the rest of the planet when it comes to Sarah Palin with captioning on Sean Hannity’s show describing her as a “universal nightmare”.

The former Vice Presidential sideshow has now even lost her place as the Republican party’s favourite candidate to Donald Trump, who topped the latest latest poll for CNN. Only 53% of Republicans and Republican-leaning Independents say they want Palin to run for the GOP Nomination in 2012.

Fairly unbalanced.

Donald Trump panders to Obama “birther” conspiracy theorists

Attempts to bolster his chances at the 2012 Republican presidential nomination finds Donald Trump pandering to lunatic conspiracy theories by reigniting the Barack Obama citizenship issue — which many commentators claim has a racist subtext.

In an interview with NBC the US star of The Apprentice said “there’s a big possibility” that Obama’s presidency violates the Constitution, and that he had people on the ground in Hawaii investigating the matter.

“I have people that actually have been studying it… And they cannot believe what they’re finding. And I’m serious.”

Leaving aside the question whether Trump is a serious contender for the Presidency, we have to wonder how a businessman with a reported net worth of $2.7 billion can’t perform a simple Google search. Please allow Scrapbook to indulge the toupee-loving high flier:

You’re not hired!

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