Imergrants did it

A UKIP councillor has tried to blame immigrants … because he is behind on his own council tax. Portsmouth’s Paul Godier was banned from voting on proposals for £13.1m worth of cuts at Portsmouth City Council because he is behind on payments to the authority. It has not been revealed how much he owes.

And it’s all because they came over here and bloody took his job:

“I have spent years as a low-skilled dockyard worker, but I can’t get any work in the dockyard because of the uptake of low-skilled foreign workers.

The gaffe comes a week after his party leader Nigel Farage was widely ridiculed for suggesting immigrants using the M4 made him late for a date with members who had paid £25 for the privilege of dining with him.

Cllr Godier is no stranger to these pages, having previously told a shocked council meeting that he used to be a drug dealer — before denying he said anything of the sort.

Presumably it’s also immigrants’ fault that he is housed by the local authority and continues to draw his councillors’ allowance of £10,382?

‘Red Ed’ was one of the principle anti-Miliband attack lines of the first two years of this parliament — a shorthand for his predilection, claimed by opponents of the Labour leader,  for regulating and/or nationalising anything that moves. And did you hear hear that his dad was a Marxist?

Discussing “whether you actually have economic powers and resources” devolved to the regions, John Prescott has only gone and called him that in the middle of an interview with the BBC:

“And that’s why Red Ed, is right to have a commission to look at these and not rush them through ready for the election, which Hague is now doing.”

So Tony Blair’s leftist foil calls Miliband ‘Red Ed’ and the Tory press office Twitter feed and right-wing tabloids don’t breathe a word.

So is the term ‘Red Ed — along with other attacks on Miliband as some form of far-left extremist — dead in the water?

Australian Daily Telegraph

While the most horrendous events can beget some of the most tremendous journalism, perhaps Rupert Murdoch should have saved this blasé message for a phone call to the editor of the Australian Daily Telegraph — which is owned by, errr, Rupert Murdoch:

Stay classy.

Squirt Alert

There’s just ten shopping days left until Christmas. Wondering what to get your favourite Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport? Struggling for gift ideas for the over-zealous BBFC censor in your life? Well worry no longer!

With the government widely ridiculed for introducing an arbitrary — not to mention sexist — list of acts which can no longer be depicted by British pornographers, game developers MiKandi have hit back:

“We made this game in 2 days after hearing about the recent UK ban on female ejaculation and other types of porn content, especially femdom. It’s super simple, but we wanted to get our point across fast.

“Save Female Ejaculation. Save the world … Obscenity is whatever gives the judge an erection.

With splayed-legged female as your avatar, the object of the game is to, errr, squirt judges, politicians and wannabe Mary Whitehouses. It’s free and available for Android here (NSFW).

Squirt Alert

Other apps from MiKandi include [cough] Fap Ninja (NSFW).

SEE ALSO: The government is literally going to pay someone to watch porn

Iain Duncan Smith laughing

Iain Duncan Smith has finally admitted that the use of food banks is linked to delays in his own department paying benefits — having previously attacked a charity for “scaremongering” when they suggested precisely that.

In amongst the usual IDS lies and bluster, Sunday Politics’ longest ever interview contained this concession to Andrew Neil:

AN: So you don’t agree with the [hunger in Britain] report when it says there would be fewer people having to use food banks if your department paid the claims more quickly?

IDS: Well if we could pay 100% more quickly then I’m certain of that, yes.

AN: Your department has previously denied there was any link between the rise in food banks and the delay in your department paying benefits

IDS: […] Some may be to do with some delays [by the DWP]

So how about an apology to the Trussell Trust, to whom he wrote last year claiming they had “repeatedly sought to link the growth in [their] network to welfare reform”.

 

It’s not every day that The Sun gives column space to someone calling for stronger regulation of the press:

“I believe strongly in press freedom. But it should hold the rich and powerful to account, not mock and undermine the vulnerable and disadvantaged.

“So I support transgender campaigners who are calling for a more effective press code to ensure papers show respect and sensitivity.

But then it’s not every day that they’re trying to avoid an apology to its author, who had to put up with this “joke” published by the same newspaper. A petition calling for precisely that from editor David Dinsmore currently has 20,000 signatures.

Their room for manoeuvre is severely restricted — as they can’t go with ‘one rogue columnist’ excuse of the views of Rod Liddle not representing their editorial line.

Back in August they ran a whole front page comparing trans former boxing promoter Kellie Maloney to a pantomime dame.

Disgraced UKIP candidate Kerry Smith is claiming that he called a woman with a Chinese name a “chinky”, gay people “pooftahs” and claimed that Nigel Farage is corrupt all because of … his painkillers!

“This was a phone call some time ago while he was on sedatives by his own account, not really speaking [or] thinking rationally. He was on prescription sedatives after suffering an injury”

Well, Scrapbook has managed to track down a batch of ‘Kiprofen — and it’s pretty powerful stuff.

Kiprofen

Given the side effects, however, it’s probably not the safest option for political candidates:

Kiprofen

UKIP: always read the label.

Forget waterboarding or other Enhanced Interrogation Techniques — all that’s required to get under Dubya’s torture-era deputy chief of staff Karl Rove is a light touch on the back of the hand:

Click bottom-right of the Vine below to un-mute (full exchange here).

The Republican consultant once entertained the White House Correspondents’ Dinner with a cameo as ‘MC Rove’ (VIDEO).

Does he also do a version of ‘U Can’t Touch This’?