DWP has been forced to withdraw a leaflet on benefit sanctions after comments from supposed claimants were revealed to be, errrr, made up and stuff.
Way back in 2002, Theresa May was doing a very good impersonation of someone who cares about civil liberties:
"We want to encourage ... neighbourhood policing, giving people back power and stopping this constant centralisation which this government has brought in."
And even as recently as 2010, May was still keeping up the pretence by earnestly telling everyone this:
"This government is taking (steps) to reduce the control of the state over decent, law-abiding people and hand power back to them."
Of course May – like any good Tory – is a good old-fashioned authoritarian at heart and now she’s got her hands on the reins of power, the pretence that she gives a flying f*ck about civil liberties has pretty much gone out of the proverbial window.
Here’s what Theresa’s been doing since she became Home Secretary to “reduce the control of the state” and “hand power back” to us:
And if we’re going to be hearing an explanation from the Home Secretary for her complete about-face on civil liberties, it would also be nice if May could explain why documents relating to VIP sex crimes are being kept secret from the public until 2056:
But I won’t be holding my breath.
NEXT WEEK: Michael Fallon
Writing for ConservativeHome, Grant Shapps’ former top advisor seems keen for his old boss to take credit for the parts of the election campaign which worked, but strangely not for a new IT system which went into meltdown on polling day — leaving Tory activists across the country unable to print vital ‘get out the vote’ data.
Philip Hammond is not known for his diplomacy.
For example, most MPs who were caught claiming massive amounts of dosh on expenses for things like unnecessary second homes (and in Hammond’s case teaspoon collections) immediately apologised profusely to taxpayers and offered to pay the money back.
Not, however, boorish multi-millionaire Hammond – who was so oblivious to public anger he said he would continue claiming for his second home until the rules changed.
And as transport minister, Hammond’s diplomatic acumen was no sharper. He ignored 200 years of cycling history and offended millions of cyclists by trying to officially eliminate the popular activity as a form of transport.
Hammond’s extreme lack of diplomatic skills were on show again when he became Defence Secretary – when he sacked thousands of armed forces personnel denying them a full pension.
And when asked by journalists about a tax dodging scheme he was involved in he undiplomatically snapped: “What has it got to do with you?”
In fact, Hammond is so lacking in diplomatic finesse, he can’t even be bothered to remember the names of the people he’s engaged in debate with.
So guess who Cameron has decided to put in charge of the UK’s most important and often delicate diplomatic negotiations with our friends, allies and potential enemies?
Yep. I’m afraid so.
Unbelievably, tactless, blundering Hammond is now our Foreign Secretary – in charge of our diplomatic service.
And true to form – just a few days ago – bungling Hammond almost derailed the delicate nuclear negotiations between the US and Iran by using a gesture considered to be extremely offensive in Iran:
In fact, in Iran, this is so bad it’s akin to giving the middle finger to someone.
So why don’t we all give a big (Iranian style) thumbs up to Philip Hammond – yet another of Cameron’s incompetent clowns who are now running the country?
NEXT WEEK: Theresa May
Act of Gove: a legal term for an unstoppable destructive force of nature or disaster beyond our control.
Here are a few examples of destructive Acts of Gove:
But Gove has not only targeted education and the NHS. Michael has turned his hand to destroying other things too. He single-handedly succeeded in putting young people off rap and he once had late-night broadcasting on its knees by conducting some very very creepy TV interviews.
Michael also has some extremely destructive ideas about poverty, which he thinks is caused by people not being able to “manage their finances”. Ironic considering Michael seems to need a lot of help managing his own money. Or should I say our money.
For example, Michael once claimed £134.50 from the taxpayer for a pair of elephant lamps and spent taxpayers’ money on a £110,000 limo service to go 400 yards. He also flipped his home which netted him £13,000 to cover stamp duty and £7,000 to decorate his London home.
But most disturbing of all – for someone who is decidedly unsexy – Michael likes to talk about sex A LOT. He was once caught up in a 5-in-a-bed sex romp scandal while at university, he thinks business people come to London for “hot sex” and he once described Angela Merkel as “hot”.
All of which is enough to destroy romance and put anyone off sex for life.
So well done Michael.
PS ‘Gove‘ is a real word in the English language. It means ‘to go about looking like a fool or to stare stupidly‘. Perhaps it should be brought back into common usage again.
* Luckily a Sunday Telegraph photographer just happened to be coincidentally passing as Michael left the clinic to record the event