Political Scrapbook » Whimsy

Has Tory Bear defected to the Russians?

Political Scrapbook — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 14:05:03 +0000

Following his trip to Russia and subsequent blog silence, rumours abound that Tory Bear may have defected from the UK’s libertarian right to the neo-Soviet left. Did he received military training in Moscow over the weekend? Is the political blogosphere’s most famous blue bear, who shares clear kinship with the national personification of Russia, now an asset of the FSB?

A friendly spook has been in touch with the following encoded transmission, intercepted by GCHQ in the early hours of this morning. It seems likely that torybear.com will undergo an, ahem, subtle be re-brand in the coming days:

The indications are clearly that TB read some Marx (and he liked it).

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The Animal has taken over the farm!

Socialist Animal — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 09:49:03 +0000

As our editor departs on an ill-deserved holiday, the proletariat have seized control of Political Scrapbook. This blogger could probably do well to adopt the Boxer maxim of “I will work harder”, but in true Napoleonic style has instead opted to believe that “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others”.

While the Animal shall endeavour to maintain Scrapbook’s reputation for pithy humour, expect this blog to become ever-so-slightly more sarcastic, geekish, and irrelevant.

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Hansard tells it like it is!

Socialist Animal — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 09:17:28 +0000

The Scrapbook team recently discovered that a House of Commons debate on the Budget makes for particularly entertaining late night viewing, especially when the Honourable Members have had as much to drink as we had.

In particular, one point of order from the Member for Ealing North left this blogger in hysterics, and wondering just how on earth Hansard would record it. Scrapbook was delighted therefore to discover that Hansard has indeed recorded the point of order, and the reply, verbatim:

Stephen Pound: On a point of order, Mr Deputy Speaker. I would never presume to teach you your job, but some of us on this side of the Chamber are having great difficulty in hearing the priceless words that the shadow Minister is enunciating because of the well-refreshed ejaculations that are coming from those on the Benches opposite.

Mr Deputy Speaker: I do not think I need to deal with that point of order.

Ms Eagle: Thank you, Mr Deputy Speaker. I am trying to put the idea of well-refreshed ejaculations firmly out of my mind.

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They read some Marx (and they liked it)

Political Scrapbook — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 10:45:39 +0000

If Katy Perry read Marx, her music would probably sound something like this, which, notwithstanding the terrible rapping, is most amusing. Check out the (more expensively produced) Keynes vs Hayek rap battle for another musical take on political economy.

Hat-tip: Liberal Conspiracy

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Government to repeal football laws

Conor Pope — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 16:15:53 +0000

DPM Clegg mimicking the soon-to-be extinct celebration of former footballer Alan Shearer

David Cameron’s waxwork figure Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg this week revealed the Your Freedom website, which allows voters to suggest which laws they would like to be repealed in an effort by the coalition to extend civil liberties. The first laws to be abolished are those of football. Mr Clegg said:

“As creators of the laws of football, we retain the right to repeal them. Following the dismal performances of the England team in South Africa, the Government intends to action this right, removing all football laws, and thus the game itself, from existence and restoring the freedom of many Britons not to be regularly humiliated on the world stage.”

Reaction in the footballing community has been mixed. England midfielder and phantom goalscorer Frank Lampard told reporters:

“It’s a shocking decision, which ultimately has cost us the game.”

Manchester United and England forward Wayne Rooney was more philisophical, however:

“At the end of the day, we’ve given 110%, but we haven’t performed well enough. When it comes down to it, it’ll be disappointing not to earn obscene amounts of money while loads of other people lose their jobs and stuff, but like, I’ve probably got enough now anyway. At the end of the day, like I said, it’s the Deputy Prime Minister’s decision and you’ve gotta go along with it.”

The decision has been met with universal acclaim in Scotland and Wales.

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Ed Miliband campaign enlist sporting help in fight against unfair budget

Political Scrapbook — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 13:37:01 +0000

Ed Miliband’s leadership campaign has enlisted cricketing help in the fight against Tuesday’s emergency budget, encouraging “hundreds of people” to email 2005 Ashes hero Simon Jones:

Speaking exclusively to Scrapbook, Jones said:

“It was flattering to be contacted by Ed’s team regarding the budget. The 25% cuts for DCMS will see many sporting initiatives, such as free swimming for children, face the axe.”

The fast-medium bowler then added:

“But I was rather confused when they started going on about Bermondsey and the Liberal Democrats. I live in Cardiff and voted Plaid Cymru.”

Liberal Democrat deputy leader Simon Hughes was unavailable for comment.

Hat-tip: Tom Baker

UPDATE: Amusing online slips aside, Miliband Jnr is now on 14 CLP nominations to Miliband Snr’s 8. It’ll be interesting to see whether this lead holds.

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Sweet Jesus, it’s Richard Littlejohn!

Political Scrapbook — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 18:17:24 +0000

Popbitch have unearthed this risqué snap of what they are claiming is right wing oaf Richard Littlejohn circa 1981. Perhaps the then industrial editor of the Evening Standard posed with, to borrow tabloid parlance, these two “lovelies” as part of some underwear undercover investigation?*

So, Richard, where is the other glove?

*Okay, so perhaps it isn’t him? Compare, contrast and decide for yourself!

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Tweeting under the influence (part deux)

Political Scrapbook — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 20:06:57 +0000

UPDATE: Our protagonist has been in touch via the comments to explain that his phone was in fact “hijacked” by fellow revellers. Scrapbook is happy to correct the record of a post which is perhaps now a cautionary tale on who you leave your mobile with!

World cup festivities combined with a “long lunch” have evidently got the better of at least one politico. Microblogging under the influence Leaving your iPhone with mischievous blue bears is a dangerous affair, especially when ~~your~~ their commentary strays from “Ingerland” to, erm, other matters:

Perhaps the editor of the now defunct right wing blog Keep Right Online can compare notes with Nadine “sat on a wall with a bottle of wine” Dorries?

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What will Gideon slash next week? Speculate now with the random cuts generator!

Political Scrapbook — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 13:01:54 +0000

Hats off to the good folks at No Shock Doctrine for Britain for their brilliant random cuts generator. This policy tool will surely be adopted across HMT as we approach Tuesday’s emergency budget.

Reductions in public spending have never been so amusing.

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In praise of Beau Bo D’Or

Political Scrapbook — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 15:58:36 +0000

Cartoonist cum graphic artist cum video creative Beau Bo D’Or produces some of the most ingenious and skilfully executed visual satire full stop and the best on the British blogosphere by a country mile. It was therefore with some sadness that Scrapbook read he is taking a short break from blogging, which has been light recently owing to a health problem.

It was the stop-gap ‘best of’ post announcing his hiatus that drew this blogger’s attention to a year-old video given new relevance with the news of the now impending fraud trials of four parliamentarians. Cleverly linking the sarcastic materialism of Renton’s “choose life” monologue in Trainspotting to MPs’ expense claims might well be worth spending an hour photoshopping Peter Viggers’ head onto a film poster:

Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics.

But what BBDO produced was truly remarkable, superimposing the faces of MPs onto footage from the film frame-by-frame. Unsurprisingly, “it took ages”:

Should you still need convincing to follow @beaubodor check out Lord Ashcroft won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz.

Get well soon.

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