Category Archives: SNP

An SNP masterclass in political miscommunication

2:40pm Tue September 28th

Glasgow University’s Masters Degree in Political Communication is very highly regarded indeed. Scotland’s Deputy First Minister Nicola Sturgeon would have done well to send someone from her office back to her alma mater to enroll in this course.

Ms. Sturgeon’s brand-spanking new website which she proudly boasted about yesterday devotes a whole page to some of the sharpest criticisms of the SNP Government and the Scottish Labour Party’s flagship campaigns. The three questions she attempts to answer with lengthy missives are:

1. “Why did the SNP cancel the Glasgow Airport Rail link?”

2. “Why are you against Labour’s plan for a mandatory jail sentence for people who carry a knife?”

3. “I live in Govanhill and I’m fed up of the way the area is being run down. What are you going to do about it?”

With Nicola Sturgeon going round reminding everyone of the SNP’s failings local Labour Candidate Stephen Curran is in for an easy election.

Maybe she’ll deliver his direct mails for him too!

Beam me up, Scotty: Salmond's sci-fi economics

5:40pm Wed September 8th

4 comments

After recently being accused of being even more fixated with Alex Salmond than George Foulkes The Animal swore he’d lay-off the First Minister for a bit. However following today’s legislative programme announcement, or moreover the reply, it became impossible to resist temptation. Scottish Labour leader Iain Gray isn’t a man famed for pithy humour (quite the opposite some would doubtless suggest) however his attack on Alex Salmond had political friends and foes chuckling as he accused the First Minister of:

“boldly going where no serious economist has ever gone before.”

If the polls are to believed then Alex Salmond is very much facing the Final Frontier, with his government looking extremely unlikely to live long and prosper (that’s enough Star Trek puns, Ed.)

Scots keep bucking the trend: poll puts Labour on course for victory next year

9:04am Sat August 21st

9 comments

Earlier this year Scotland bucked the national trend and recorded an increase in the Labour vote of 2.5%, and this shift to Labour shows no sign of letting up. Today’s IPSOS/MORI Holyrood poll gives Scottish Labour an 8% boost since February this year in the constituencies, and a 9% boost on the regional vote. This translates to Labour winning 57 seats in the Scottish Parliament – more than Labour won at its high point in 1999 - and just five seats short of an overall majority.

And while the SNP melts away, the Conservatives are experiencing a slump in support and are expected to drop from 17 to 14 seats.

Scots Labour Leader Iain Gray is particularly fond of the famous American ‘turtle on the fence post‘ analogy. With polling numbers like this one can easily understand why.

Elect a local champion? The shameless carpetbagging of SNP candidates

4:22pm Mon August 16th

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The 2010 UK General Election saw the Scottish National Party run under the condescending banner “Scotland Needs Champions“, with the corollary constituency campaigns urging voters to “Elect a local champion.” The Animal sincerely doubts that Nats will be running this campaign next year, given the amount of carpetbagging going on.

While Mid Scotland and Fife MSP Christopher Harvie (who lives miles away in the South of Scotland) is retiring, many of his fellow interlopers are reluctant to follow his lead. Kenny Gibson was a Glasgow MSP until 2003 but has miraculously re-appeared on the West of Scotland Regional List and won the Cunninghame North seat by a mere 48 votes. Gil Paterson is another 2003 loser who jumped from Central Scotland to West of Scotland for the last election. Environment Secretary Richard Lochead was a member for the North East Scotland region before winning Moray in the Highlands region.

In fairness, an honourable mention has to go to Alex Salmond, who would seem far less itinerant than some of his colleagues. After standing down as SNP leader and quitting as MSP for Banff and Buchan, he decided to run again for leader, contested the Banff and Buchan Westminster seat in 2005 and then for Gordon in 2007.

However the first prize for carpetbagging has got to go to the SNP’s Education Secretary Mike Russell. Russell has been a regional list MSP for the South of Scotland since 2007, and previously between 1999 and 2003 and having run in Dumfries in 2007. But next year Russell will be trying to hang onto Argyll and Bute for the SNP, a mere 103 miles from his current turf.

Scrapbook will be keeping our beady eyes on his ministerial car usage.

Stomping Salmond's election night rant

4:28pm Mon August 2nd

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At the risk of being accused of having a fixation with Alex Salmond, Socialist Animal heard an amusing little story about election night in Bute House that we couldn’t let pass.

It would seem Il Duce was not in the best of moods after polls closed on May 6th, so much so that he was heard by journalists several rooms away stomping and fuming about the results. At one point Salmond was heard shouting:

“For fck’s sake! What does it take for the people of Scotland to stop fcking voting Labour?!”

On the basis of the most recent polling Big ‘Eck isn’t going to get his answer any time soon!

Diplomatic row brews as Alex Salmond refused official car for Commonwealth Games in Delhi

9:12am Mon July 5th

7 comments

General Salmond: to patronise Hertz car rental in Delhi?

A minor diplomatic row appears to be developing in Scotland.

It likely comes as little surprise to anyone that Scottish First Minister Alex Salmond harbours delusions of grandeur. Indeed one can easily picture Comrade Salmond inspecting his Scottish regiments, clad in a General’s uniform, sporting a chest-full of medals and chomping on a King Edward. However Big Eck’s delusions may be getting ahead of himself.

Knowing that it looks increasingly unlikely that his Government will remain in office by the time the Commonwealth Games come to Glasgow in 2014, Mr. Salmond is looking to make the most of the Games in Delhi in October.

However Scrapbook can exclusively reveal that the First Minister is throwing a hissy-fit over his being refused an official car and driver owing to the fact that he’s not a head of state. One Holyrood insider has described this decision as “quite right”, adding that Mr. Salmond is little more than a “jumped-up Mayor”.

Salmond has obviously decided to recreate his dream Delhi experience at home by using his own official car to transport himself to-and-from his favourite curry shop.

Alex Salmond: who ate all the pies?

11:01am Tue February 23rd

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Loving this clipping from the Scottish Mirror, which, oddly, hasn’t made it onto the internets. First Minister’s Questions wouldn’t be the same without jiggling jowls:*

It transpires ~~Dr.~~ Gillian McKeith has even offered to examine his poo.

Well, the SNP are full of it.

*But it would be improved.