Scrapbook fans may have noticed that Socialist Animal is something of a stickler for parliamentary rules, and as such couldn’t let this one pass by.

Newly elected MP for Gloucester Richard Graham has received his first ticking-off from the Sargent at Arms over an inappropriate image. However those of you who were hoping for a Nigel Griffiths style dirty pic will be disappointed to learn that Graham’s  offence was altogether more tame.

It would seem another newly elected MP (whom Graham refuses to name) chose to document their induction day, and took a photograph inside the commons which is strictly forbidden under parliamentary rules. Graham then had the brass neck to send the picture off to his local paper.

Has the man no decency?!

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Mr Cameron’s shirt … now appears to be a size too small. And he’s notably thickening around the midriff. As doctors like to point out, this centrally-distributed adiposity is a particularly perilous kind of weight gain, since it is associated with an increased risk of heart problems.

Of course, people have been remarking on Mr Cameron’s chubbiness for years now. Before the election, some Conservatives worried that his well-nourished appearance was off-putting to the electorate, making him appear overly prosperous, soft, cosseted and out of touch.

What is surely missing from the Torygraph’s coverage, however, is a Heat Magazine-style “circle of shame”. Please allow Scrapbook to oblige:

Buttered crumpets for elevenses?

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One of the so-called “Islamic” wingnuts who pelted Tory peer Sayeeda Warsi with eggs because she didn’t “represent Sharia” has been jailed for six weeks.

The men were reportedly members of Al-Muhajiroun, which advocated the creation of an Islamic state in Britain. The group was subsequently banned under terrorism legislation, along with the so-delusional-it’s-actually-funny Islam4UK.

If they’re so hot for Sharia law, Scrapbook suggests pelting politicians with eggs in Riyadh.

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It’s the goat story that shows no signs of slowing down! This week, Scrapbook reported that after showing up the Treasury’s “Spending Challenge” site, many were wondering how long it would be until the goat* became more popular than the Liberal Democrats.

Well, it appears we need ponder no longer. A YouGov poll, released this week, puts the Liberal Democrats on a lowly 13%. As this is an evidence-based gossip blog, Scrapbook set about poring over the figures and discovered something explosive: the goat already has more followers than the Lib Dems.

In a poll of over 2000 people, just 243 said they would vote for the junior coalition partners if there was an election tomorrow.

Meanwhile, over 900 people have been swept up in Goatmania**.

*As co-owners, Scrapbook would rather not be involved in the factionalism that threatens to tear the left apart over the issue of naming the goat.

**If you’re still unsure why  you should #VoteGoat, read this.

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In response to this hugely embarrassing story for the Treasury, a new Facebook page was set up today, entitled “Can this goat get more followers than HM Treasury Spending Challenge?” In what will surely go down in history as the moment the Con-Dem’s honeymoon ended, the goat overtook HM Treasury Spending Challenge at around 2:30pm – less than an hour after the page going up.

At the time of writing last update, the goat has 259 fans 716, whilst HM Treasury Spending Challenge languishes on a mere 75 85.

With the Liberal Democrats only receiving 13 points in the latest YouGov poll, the question on everyone’s lips is: How long before this goat has more followers than the Lib Dems?

UPDATE: Pun of the month goes to Sunny Hundal: “An unnamed goat has stormed ahead in Facebook fans stakes by comprehensively bleating [geddit?] the government’s Spending Challenge website yesterday.”

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On a completely unrelated note, Jon Snow mentioned via Twitter earlier that an unnamed guest on Friday’s show had left the studio with “a string of f words and c words”:

Meanwhile, Oliver King, the C4 News programme editor, tweets that someone called “Zac” was “lucky the mics weren’t recording him” and that this elusive Zac character should “issue an immediate apology”.

As Scrapbook’s mother always said, “Manners don’t cost a thing!”

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To have been a fly on the wall in Millbank when Zac Goldsmith trotted this out on Channel 4 News:

“Every decision that we took was approved by election experts inside Central Office Conservative Party [sic], every single one of them.”

But, teacher! CCHQ told me to do it!

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It would appear, however, that his PR team felt he should instead be obnoxious, evasive and threatening. For ten whole minutes. It certainly made for entertaining viewing:

As Goldmsith himself says, “You wanna watch it”.

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It is rumoured he fell asleep on the terrace.

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“It was like looking at Bambi. So I shot him.”

Tom Watson has given an account of that outburst for (the excellent) Labour Uncut:

It was like he was enjoying the humiliation. He wasn’t supposed to be … He gave the impression that he’d gone through the plans for every school in scholarly detail. And having grasped the detail, he was halving the number of building schools for the future projects – more than 700 schools … The following day, dischord erupted. Michael had got his facts wrong. The department was very sorry but the some of the schools would not be receiving the investment. How many? Well, ahem, er, all of them.

You can read the full thing here.

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