Star Bores: census reveals more Jedi Knights than Lib Dems or Tories

Census data released today has revealed that there are more Jedi Knights in the UK than there are members of the Liberal Democrats or Tories. At the end of 2011, Lib Dem membership, which saw a cliff-edge fall last year, was found limping at 49,000 compared to the strong force of 177,000 Jedi Knights.

But the Tories aren’t doing much better – still trailing behind the Jedis with a membership between 130,000 and 170,000. It’s only who Labour outnumber the force with 193,000 members.

With former Liberals angry at the party’s move to the Dark Side, perhaps it’s time for Vince Cable to take a light sabre to Clegg.

13 Comments

  1. Posted December 11, 2012 at 2:52 pm | Permalink

    Ha!

  2. Fat Orange Twat
    Posted December 11, 2012 at 4:31 pm | Permalink

    Fear, anger and hatred are the Tory front bench

  3. Ed
    Posted December 11, 2012 at 6:37 pm | Permalink

    Jedi’s Unite! I am one of those who ticked the ‘other’ religion box on the census and professed myself a Jedi. We should mobilise all those Jedi and take on the old political dinosaurs, think how much better the country would be with the Jedi philosophy and Yoda as the symbolic head of state, time to defeat the dark side!

  4. Edward Mccrilby
    Posted December 11, 2012 at 7:51 pm | Permalink

    Of course, the ‘jedi’ tick box was for religious preference not political hence one could also say there are more Muslims or Christians in Britain than Conservative or Labour members. However I think the fact that this census clearly shows a dangerous unsustainable population growth due to 13 years of uncontrolled immigration under Labour is more pressing than Jedi matters, ne?

  5. Charley Hasted
    Posted December 11, 2012 at 9:27 pm | Permalink

    Could point out that if huge numbers of labour supporters weren’t signed up through trade unions and they actually had to go and persuade people they’d have fewer than the jedis too.

  6. Fubar Saunders
    Posted December 11, 2012 at 10:01 pm | Permalink

    …. and that Labour’s membership also leapt when they offered a cut price sanctuary to tory hating left wing sandal wearing beardy lib dems who couldnt stomach being in coalition with the tories.

    Take those out and you find that the Jedi’s outnumber Labour as well.

    Which makes a fictional movement based around puppets more popular than ANY of the three mainstream parties…. and anyway, since when has your political allegiance been classed in the same way as your religious faith if you have one? Going back to the old communist quote of “religion is the opiate of the masses” are we???

  7. Lerxst
    Posted December 11, 2012 at 10:30 pm | Permalink

    Ed – You want the country to be ruled by a celibate order who roam the land removing young children from their parents??

  8. Dave
    Posted December 12, 2012 at 12:06 am | Permalink

    Apparently as a White Brit in London, I am now a minority. That is such a great progressive step forward.

    Can you see this destruction of nationhood being repeated in Beijing, Tokyo or Mumbai?

    No – and neither can anyone else.

  9. Posted December 12, 2012 at 8:23 am | Permalink

    Fubar: I accept that there would have been more “Jedis” than any political party before May 2010, but what’s your evidence that the new Labour members were direct transfers from the Lib Dems?

  10. Jay
    Posted December 12, 2012 at 11:06 am | Permalink

    Kind of easy when you’re membership fee is £1 for young and students…. Hell I’m a member just to see what I got. A invitation to a jazz night with my Sheffield MP woop!

  11. Tory N. Eanderthal
    Posted December 12, 2012 at 3:56 pm | Permalink

    @Dave: Aww, stupid little tory nazi

  12. Tory N. Eanderthal
    Posted December 12, 2012 at 3:57 pm | Permalink

    @Fubar:

    Tory hating? They call it being human you filthy tory neckbeard.

  13. Pharqwit Trot
    Posted December 12, 2012 at 4:31 pm | Permalink

    @Tory N. Eanderthal

    “tory nazi”, “filthy tory neckbeard”

    Such well-reasoned arguments.

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