Will the honourable member withdraw? Telegraph poll breaks down sex lives by political party

“If it’s instant gratification you’re after, Labour voters are the place to go.” – Daily Telegraph

The Stella Sex Survey, conducted for the Telegraph’s glossy supplement of the same name, has cannily tagged a question on voting intention to their poll on all things carnal. The results are most amusing:

One in 20 (five per cent) [of Labour voters] say that they expect to have sex on the first date, compared to three per cent of Lib Dems and a meagre two per cent of the frosty Conservatives. Going out with a Liberal Democrat could be a frustrating experience: one-third (33 per cent) will make you wait until the fifth date or – if you can imagine such a torment – even longer.

Apparently Conservatives are the most likely to have paid for sex.

Ahem.